Leaving the Suburbs

Creativity & freedom isn't able to flourish well in today's suburbs

We’re preparing to leave the “expensive ease” of the suburbs.

I am thankful for the places in the suburbs we’ve called home. Truly.

We’ve made memories, and been fortunate to have a place to live here to raise our boys. Everything has a season, and this season has been good.

However, as I’ve watched my toddlers grow, and as I’ve watched time pass more quickly, I’ve noticed that the suburban environment will continue to gobble up all that I work hard for. The cost to fund this lifestyle is my time. That is a steep cost.

America has normalized a suburban culture that is materially top heavy: requiring us to work around the clock to pay for this increasingly expensive lifestyle. It’s not sustainable: financially or ecologically.

I’ve spent a great deal of time analyzing the suburbs.

The high ongoing costs of two cars for a family: fuel, insurance, maintenance, payments, etc.

The high ongoing costs of a suburban home: property taxes, mortgage, maintenance.

The high ongoing costs of being tired out by working to pay for the lifestyle: little time to exercise, temptation for takeout food after a long day, spending weekends keeping it all fixed up.

The costs of doing the typical suburban diversions to “recharge” from suburban life: having pets, gym membership, vacations, takeout, pool membership, etc.

It’s a curious experiment we’ve been running in America since WW2. The suburbs in America are a product of very cheap energy, huge government subsidies, and extreme conformity in urban planning. It was never going to last.

As a family, we’ve been steadily moving away from this suburban culture for years. We work on homestead projects in favor of gym memberships. We’re raising chickens for eggs and raising kune kune pigs, rather than have more pets that don’t help on the homestead. We’re cooking at home, rather than eating takeout. We built our first canvas tent Airbnb to earn extra income, instead of entertaining ourselves at the movies or chasing other suburban diversions that cost money.

However, we’re finding that this new lifestyle of production and creation is clashing with the suburban culture of consumption.

Legally, we’re only allowed 4 chickens. We have 40…

Legally, we’re allowed one mini-pig. We have two. (a minor infraction, but an infraction nonetheless)

The county shut down our popular canvas tent AirBnb. We need permits, a business license, and they have an ordinance against RV and Tent Airbnbs.

It might just be a sign that we no longer fit our environment. The suburbs are telling us to leave. Maybe it’s for the best.

The suburbs are all about consumption and conformity.

Creation and creativity are penalized and are often prohibited here.

Home costs in the suburbs are astronomical in 2023. Property taxes have spiked accordingly to the property values. My income is good, but it is not rising faster than property taxes, utility bills, maintenance costs and groceries. These two growth lines are diverging. I don’t want to sacrifice even more time with my children simply to keep paying suburban expenses deemed normal as inflation grows.

This is not sustainable. We could keep this cycle going, but it will increasingly consume more time, money and effort to keep it going. A family often needs two cars in the suburbs. By the time you do save some money, an HVAC systems breaks. Or a car breaks. Or the house needs paint. Something tends to pop up. The suburban lifestyle ensures steady consumption will always occur. The funny thing is, we don’t need all this. It’s way more than we need. Many people are happy with far less.

Why have we created this culture of excessive work for excessive stuff?

We can live so much more simply.

Ironically, the suburbs prohibit simplicity and affordability by design.

You must have a home bigger than 1800 sq feet in many parts of our county, even if you want a tiny home.

You must have a car to be mobile here, even if you’d happily bike or walk.

You must not plant a front-lawn garden or have chickens in an HOA, even if you’d like to grow your own food.

You are expected to mow your front lawn, rather than plant a pollinator garden of wildflowers.

You should do as everyone else does.

In our fast-paced modern world, where the suburbs have long been hailed as the epitome of comfort, safety, and stability, we are now daring to ask the question: Is it time to leave the expensive ease of the suburbs behind? The suburbs have undoubtedly offered us a predictable life, with well-manicured lawns (copying the British aristocracy - at great expense in fuel, mowers and time), secluded privacy, and an abundance of conveniences. However, as property taxes soar, our connection to the outdoors diminishes, and the daily grind becomes an endless loop of monotony, more and more families are contemplating the idea of trading convenience for more time, familiarity for new adventure, and stability for freedom. We’re one of those families.

One of the more immediate reasons to consider leaving the suburbs is the astronomical rise in property taxes and home prices. While the suburbs may initially seem like a financially sound choice, the reality is that property taxes and home prices in these areas have been rapidly climbing. The cost of maintaining infrastructure, schools, and public services often falls heavily on homeowners, causing added financial stress for many families. The idea of trading in that hefty tax bill for a more affordable rural property is incredibly enticing.

We’re planning to homeschool our boys, so there is small satisfaction in knowing most of my high property taxes fund the local schools. I’m thankful for the local schools, but my limited dollars should fund my boys homeschool experience.

Another compelling motivation for departing the suburbs is the critical need for more outdoor time. In suburban life, we often find ourselves trapped in the cycle of commute-work-commute, leaving precious little time to connect with nature deeply. Nature is a vital source of tranquility, inspiration, and well-being. Living in a more rural setting allows for daily encounters with the natural world, fostering a deeper connection with the environment and a healthier lifestyle for ourselves and our children. With fewer expenses I’ll have more time to be with our kids. Yes, we’ll have to live more simply, but that’s a good thing.

Suburban life also has a knack for trapping us in a repetitive routine. The never-ending traffic jams and the daily pilgrimage past the same fast-food chain restaurants and big-box stores can wear on one's soul. Breaking free from the suburbs presents an opportunity to explore the unknown, savor unique places, and rediscover the excitement of adventure found apart from the HOAs, strip malls, dialysis centers and gas stations.

The rustic peach orchards I used to play in as a child have been bulldozed for giant warehouses. Now folks will get Amazon same-day delivery, I suppose. But we don’t have the peach orchards anymore. The old dairy farms are all tract housing now. There are still a few pastures left with some remnant cows, but the apartments are being built left and right over what’s left.

Speaking of children, one of the most profound reasons, for us, to leave the suburbs behind is for the sake of our youngest family members. While suburban living may offer them a “stable” environment, it can also limit their exposure to diverse experiences and hinder their creativity. Life is short, and the suburbs have a way of boxing children in, both physically and mentally. More rural life opens up a world of exploration, fostering independence, imagination, and resilience.

Furthermore, it's essential to acknowledge the unsustainability of the suburban model, both environmentally and financially. Suburbs, with their vast & brittle infrastructure and reliance on automobiles, contribute significantly to environmental issues such as pollution, resource depletion, and urban sprawl. The suburban lifestyle is heavily subsidized, and when it eventually falls apart (simply look to many older suburbs around metro city centers), the original inhabitants and builders have moved to the peri-urban fringe, building suburbs anew, and perpetuating a cycle of disposable communities that harm both the environment and the sense of belonging.

Our communities should not be built to be disposable, but this is exactly how the suburbs are built. Our communities should get better with time, not worse.

Leaving the suburbs is a decision that requires careful consideration, as it entails trading one set of conveniences for new challenges. For us however, it is an opportunity to regain more control of our lives, to prioritize the well-being of our family, and to embrace a more sustainable and fulfilling way of living. Life is an adventure, and it's time to embark on a new season, leaving behind the expensive ease of the suburbs for a more simple way of life.

We’re building a small off-grid home base, and pairing that cabin with a single vehicle pulling a camper. Between the off-grid systems we’ve been using for years, and a traditional camper, we’re excited for a lifestyle that’s more simple, even if it takes more direct effort to procure together. I’ll put it this way: I’d rather chop wood with my sons to heat our home than work in a cubicle by myself to pay the gas bill.

We’ll travel a bit more, I’ll work a bit less, we’ll live even more frugally, and we’ll work as a family to define a new culture at least for our little tribe. We’re hoping to share land with friends and family for a more immediate community. The suburbs sadly do not foster strong communities. Total privacy and the ability to be left alone are held sacred in the suburbs. In the suburbs we don’t know most of our neighbors, as many prefer to be left alone. I’m not criticizing that. It’s just a reality.

I was raised in the suburbs. I’m not trying to knock them in an ungrateful way.

As I’ve grown, observed, and studied more, it’s clear to see the suburbs isolate and compartmentalize everything we humans need to a high degree. Work is miles away, recreation is miles away, the kids are in school miles away, nature is in a park miles away, your food is in the grocery store miles away… Some people might like this, but it’s not a healthy way for humans to live in my opinion.

I want to work where I live, teach out kids at home, explore the majesty of nature, grow food where I live, setup canvas tents for guests, not worry about the zoning board’s rules, and not pass McDonalds on the way home every day.

Everything has a season, and perhaps we should all be looking at how it’s time for the suburbs to evolve into something that’s more active, healthy, frugal, and enjoyable for all. The suburbs are particularly limiting for both children and the elderly.

If the suburbs cannot evolve, then perhaps it’s time to move on to something that meets those needs. For now, we’ll be trying our hand at creating that environment with our own hands.

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If you’re interested in the off-grid systems, tools, and methods we’ll be using to leave the suburbs as a family, we have a 10 hour video course we created to share these ideas in depth! We cover cabin design, tiny homes, yurts, bell tents, solar power, methane digesters, solar ovens, permaculture gardens, small livestock, and much more.

The Acorn Off-Grid Systems course is our team’s big 2023 project to help share these ideas and fund our research moving forward. Thanks for being here!

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